Sarah Peacock
So. This post is a bit overdue. I’ve been busy.
One morning in March, I opened my eyes in my brand new (to me) house and pulled up my twitter feed. Jennifer Knapp happened to tweet about a concert in a city not super far from me that night. I looked at my calendar. I considered my to do list. And I hopped on the internet to order myself a ticket. There would be no friends at this concert. The one friend I would be comfortable attending a Jennifer Knapp concert with was way too busy for a last minute concert.
I made the trip to the concert venue. There was a pit stop at IKEA and fast food for dinner, but finally I arrived. At a small low-tech venue. I purchased a beer from the bar and settled into my 2nd row center seat. As I waited for the show to start, I observed my peers. Let’s just say the women outnumbered the men by a lot. I noted that the opening act was listed on some posters of other concerts so I figured she must be some local fil-in when they couldn’t get anyone else to open a show. Hopefully she wouldn’t suck too bad and Jennifer would be on stage soon.
Finally the lights dimmed and my jaw dropped. To understand my shock, you have to understand that I have fallen into a serious style rut. I wear a plaid flannel shirt and corduroy pants every day. During the winter I topped it off with a puffy black vest. I also have been debating chopping off my curly brown hair. Well, Sarah Peacock walked out to the stage in corduroy pants, a plaid shirt, and a black leather vest with short curls flopping around on her head. She’s way prettier than I am, but she was totally in my style range. My gaydar began pinging.
One of the highlights of her show was when she mentioned that she is in recovery – she’s a recovering Southern Baptist. “Still a Christian, unapologetically, but a recovering Southern Baptist.” Omg YES. And the 50 or so of us in the audience cheered. I am not the only one who understands that. In that moment I had hope that perhaps I might actually find others who understand that faith is really important to me, usually, but faith people are really hard sometimes.
Jennifer Knapp was great. As always. I think I might like her better without the polished CCM band behind her.
I think what I liked best about the whole evening was that for the first time I was in a space with other lesbians and it didn’t matter if they knew it. Sure I was sitting by myself. But if I want to take a girl next time Sarah Peacock is playing, I could. And no one would judge.
I now own every Sarah Peacock song available on iTunes, follow her eagerly on twitter, and plan to attend another show soon. She’s got songs that make sense to this former conservative, songs that I’d sing to a girl to express my love, songs that talk about how frustrating life can be. Just like with Jennifer Knapp, I feel like I can put on Sarah Peacock and know that there’s not going to be a song that’s makes me feel excluded because I’m not straight. I’ve googled her quite a bit, and she seems like the kind of person I’d get along with. She never talks about a girlfriend or a partner, but she’s definitely got a lesbian fan base for a reason!
Go listen and buy her stuff. Please. She’s awesome.
It’s difficult to say very much about the experience of LGBTQ people in the church without bumping up against this idea called shame. In fact, even LGBTQ individuals who have never set foot in church have likely come up against people who caused them to feel as though there was something inadequate about their sexual identity. These people hang out at school, the gym, a restaurant, a sports field, really anywhere people interact meaningfully with other people. Often in my experience the shaming happened without ever being acknowledged. It can be as simple as sharing an opinion that gay people are <insert negative adjective here>. Often they don’t even know there is a LGBTQ person in the room. That’s when I have felt shame. Based on what they just said, if they knew the truth about me, they would give me that negative adjective. At best they would reject me, at worst lash out against me in anger.
faithinhiding 