I stumbled upon this post a while ago, and it’s an easy choice for this week’s weekly reader. Even though the weekly reader idea has been a little bit less than weekly I suppose. Bi-weekely reader? Occasional reader? Anyway, here’s something I found on the internet that you should read. The post itself is a guest post at Little Did She Know, a blog I don’t actually follow all that often.
In this post, Julie Rodgers shared her story. The one where she came to terms with the reality that she was not as ex-gay as she had said she was, rather publicly. At this point she had been so involved in Ex-gay ministry that people knew her. What people knew was that she had been attracted to women and that she or God was changing her orientation. Except that she knew that she still liked girls. And she said this:
Jennifer Knapps’ personal memoir, Facing the Music, was released this week. And I’ve read it cover to cover in 2 days. Knapp is perhaps best known these days as the Christian rock star who left Christian music to be a lesbian. Despite much googling on my part, the details of her personal life have remained rather quiet. Much to the disappointment of scores of Christian lesbians (okay just me) who were desperate to hear exactly what that process was like for her and perhaps find in her someone like us. Perhaps that pressure was why she kept those details to herself for so long. Perhaps she was waiting until she had the story fully ready rather than share it in disjointed segments as songwriters so often do. Anyway, she’s ready now, and the story was well worth the wait.
“From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul. Oh foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotries known…” “Hold Me Now” Kansas.
As I’ve been working through this idea that, hmm, this is what my sexual orientation is, I’ve also been working through the idea that, hmm, people around me wouldn’t like to know this.
Vulnerability. Daring Greatly. Coming out of the closet.
Secrecy. Shame. Hiding.
In case you missed it, Vicky Beeching did an interview with the Independent August 13, in which she announced that she is in fact attracted to women. A subsequent film interview gave her story and a somewhat passionate debatewith anti-gay preacher Scott Lively. Coming about a year after the World Vision fiasco (remember when World Vision announced that they would allow gay folks to work for them RHE’s comments on this here, only to reverse the decision in an few days due to the number of dropped sponsorships and overwhelmingly negative response online??? RHE’s update here), I expected my news feed to be full of hateful responses, or at least a call to boycott her music. I’ve waited all month and it seems as though none of my conservative friends are outraged by this. Perhaps no one really knows who the artist is who sings this song or that? Perhaps because she’s been out of Christian music for almost 5 years no one cares? I’m sure she’s gotten negative responses, but it’s been surprisingly refreshing not to have to read them all over my news feed. Yet there’s almost a dread when I open Facebook as though I’m waiting for the ignorant to realize there’s something new to hate on.
Ex-ex-gay, that’s a thing? My momma always told me that a double negative is a positive. She was an English teacher, and if she ever figured out where I live on the internet, she would read this post, and say, if you are going to say ex-ex-gay, just say gay. Continue reading